In this blog, we are going to talk about the statement “I hate children”.
I hate children
This topic may seem very controversial, if you have ever heard a friend of yours talking about living a child-free life or having childlessness then you may be very surprised at the number of people who actually hate children and make an active choice not to have children.
A lot of people see not having children as an active choice and see those who have children as having kids as a more passive outcome rather than a choice that was made.
Not wanting to have children doesn’t mean you hate children.
Some people may prioritise their career over having children and choose to have children when they are much older and their careers have been secured.
Some people simply don’t want children, they have never been fans of kids, loved children held a baby, wanted to spend time with a baby or children or have any positive feelings towards children or babies.
Most people also feel as if society has placed some pressure on them to have children and the reality is that you don’t need to have children ever. There is no need for you to have children.
Society has somehow programmed women and maybe men too think that having children is just a part of normal life. It is just a nom which you must go through at some point or the other. In so many ways society has already made the decision for you and anything outside of this feels as if you hate children and you may even begin to think that you hate children and may question yourself “Do I hate children?”
What you should remember is that having children is a choice and you should be able to make your own decisions. The moment you realise that you can plan your future and part of these plans don’t have to include having children.
Some people just don’t have any positive feelings towards children, it is not that they hate children but that they don’t have any feelings towards them either way.
People may say, “Oh, it will be different when you have your own children” and whilst this may be true it doesn’t make the fact that at this moment that person doesn’t see children as part of their lives in the future. Well, some people simply don’t want to risk it not being different when they have their children.
Some people just generally have no feelings towards children and they don’t react to children in the same way you or I may react to children.
For example when a kid dances or laughs or draws something we may find that funny, we may find that cute and adorable but not everyone does and this doesn’t mean they hate children.
As a society, we should try and accept other people’s views and opinions without blindly judging them based on our own prejudice.
It is perfectly valid to live a childfree life.
What if your partner wants children?
Having kids or not having kids is not a sacrifice that you should make for anyone ever. If you are in a relationship where you want kids but your partner doesn’t want kids then you should really consider how this affects your relationship going forward.
But then there are some people who genuinely hate children. If you are one of those people who hate children then the rest of this blog focuses on you.
Do you hate children because of the difficulty raising your own kids?
Some people actually hate children because of the difficulty they may have experienced raising their own children. They slowly begin to grow a distaste or other children although they may not show this distaste in its true form to their own children they will to others and it will be evident enough for anyone to see and acknowledge.
There are a lot of mothers out there who are accidental mothers. They didn’t plan on having children not because they hate children but they didn’t plan for the changes having a child was going to bring.
They gain a lot of weight during pregnancy, they have to carry another human for 9 months, they go through the pain of labour and then they have to look after this child for another 2 years before they can return to full-time work, if at all possible. This is the task of most mothers and you can see why they may get to a point where they hate children.
Do you hate them because of the joy they have?
Some people are just sadists and hate children simply because of the joy they see them having. This sort of hate for children is worse. There isn’t any logical reason for it and it is simply vile.
If you are this kind of person then ask yourself “Why do I hate children? Is there any actual reason why I hate children”? Am I mentally alright? If you can’t answer those questions with confidence then you should seek mental health help from a qualified mental health counsellor. as you may have some issues which you need to deal with.
Do you envy their childhood?
Maybe you miss being a child, free of responsibilities and this has caused you to hate children. This can be the case with a lot of people and unfortunately, it may be hard to spot why you actually hate children. Have you ever asked yourself “Why do I hate children? “Do I actually hate children?” “Is there any obvious reason why I hate children?”.
In most cases, you will find that there isn’t any obvious reason why you hate children but you just seem to.
If this is you then you may want to consider this more deeply before you go on to have your own children, if you are planning to have your own children.
You may want to consider seeking expert mental health help from a mental health counsellor or psychiatrist.
Is there a psychological reason why you hate children?
We think this answer from quora answers this question perfectly.
“ Yes, it is psychological. And you are not alone. There are many people including women who dislike children immensely.
Little kids are needy, messy, and noisy. They don’t colour inside the lines of life. They risk and create anxiety. Trying to control them is frustrating and time consuming. For some, very costly financially. They’re not very easy to maintain so drawdown on resources immensely.
These days too we find parents who are raising brats because they either won’t discipline them or they’ve overindulged them so much they aren’t socialized. Screaming, running kids in restaurants and stores are no fun. But it’s the parents who bear the responsibility, not the unruly children. And it’s not to say parents with autistic or mental disorders aren’t doing the best they can. “
You can read more about this here.
Now we are done with all the serious talk, if you want to see a movie about the whole “I hate children” dilemma named “I hate kids” then check out this trailer.
If you are suffering from depression, anxiety, loneliness or any similar mental health issue then seeking help for it may be a good option. Mental health issues such as depression, loneliness and anxiety can affect anyone of us.
If you are under 18 then CAMHS, an NHS run programme may just be the answer for your mental health struggles.
You should look to see if you meet the CAMHS referral criteria and then fill in the CAMHS referral form.
In this brief blog, we have considered the statement “I hate children”. We hope you have found some useful guidance about this very sensitive topic.